THE FLINTSTONE PHONE COMPLEX

            Somewhere in a place called Anyhood, USA, Jason pulls into a gas station, shifts his focus to a familiar vehicle, observes its occupants, and utters the words "This bitch got me fucked up...".  The car belongs to Nisha "his work" and she's sitting in it with B, "some sucka'", just laughing and smiling away as if she's having the time of her life. Now I don't have to tell you that this is a huge "Nigga Moment" in the making. Without thinking Jason, (working with feelings he either never knew he had, or couldn't admit having thus far) runs to the car, snatches the door open, pulls Nisha out and begins to "act an ass". At this point B. is placed in an all too familiar and explosive situation. His manhood is on trial at the moment, and his next move is detrimental to his reputation as well as his situation with Nisha. Though this is his first time meeting Jason, he's already all too familiar with him. After all it was his shoulder which offered comfort to Nisha after the 3am phone calls from other women, the weeks on end with no contact, the unpaid loans, a long list of cancelled dates, and everything else she had put up with from Jason. Plus he's digging Nisha tough and has made it his goal to not repeat Jason's mistakes. Sure he's a second-stringer at the moment, but he's jockeying for a starting spot. With that understood.... Should He...? A: pull off his shirt and take shit to the streets? B: Attempt to calmly and rationally diffuse the situation? or C: Say "That shit's between y'all" and remain in the car seeing as how it was Nisha's choice as a woman to continue her dealings with Jason though she constantly states her discontent in the relationship (Or lack there of)? The answer is completely dependent on your life experiences, character, and personal views where respect is concerned. But before u lock your response in, it's important to understand that we've all been in Jason or B's shoes at some point in time. Believe it or not it we played these roles long before adulthood, adolescence, or even our first kiss in life. It's actually a character trait I've coined as the Flintstone Phone Complex. And here's how it works...

         Nearly all of us attended the Kindergarten around the age of 4 or 5 years old. And for the majority of us, it was or our first interaction with such a large number of peers and different personalities. Since this was such a huge culture-shock for our little minds we subconsciously developed extremely territorial habits which we usually exhibited during the highlight of any Kindergartner's day which was Playtime.
       
         Now... From day one our teachers read as a story and turned us loose to play within the confines of our classroom. We were instructed to choose our favorite toy, (My favorite being the Flintstone Phone.. Hence the name of the complex) and play amongst ourselves or with each other for a predetermined amount of time. We'd run to the toy of choice. swoop it up, and basque in the glory of once more being in sole control of it. Yes we'd always spend a few minutes playing with our favorite toy, but due to our extremely short attention spans, monotony soon set in, and once again we were bored with the same old thing. At this point we would sit the toy down and wander the room playing with other toys, wreaking havoc, or attempting to muscle "favorite toys" from other children. All the while our toy sat in the same spot untouched. We'd look back at it from time to time.  As the favorite toy it still held it's fair share of our attention, yet for the most part, it was relatively unimportant at the moment because it would be there when we returned for it.

           Suddenly our routine was interrupted and our little worlds were shaken to the core. Out of nowhere, another child whose favorite toy sat untouched on the other side of the room decided to place their pixi-stick-powder-polluted mitts on our toy. HELL UP IN HARLEM!!!! Of course we saw the little bandit coming from a mile away, but our initial thought was... "My toy's fine... There's a hundred toys over there for him to choose from...". We were wrong again. And the fight was officially on. We'd run over and cause the biggest scene our 40lb juice box-fueled bodies could muster. So what if we ignored it, so what if we didn't appreciate it, so what if our attention was on important matters at the time... IT WAS OUR TOY!!! And we refused to give it up without an all out war. We'd kick, scratch, bite, and scream until the teacher arrived to offer the deciding judgement in the matter. This was a daily cycle for a lot of us. Sometimes we lost and the other child was rewarded with a toy which they would more than likely ignore within the next few minutes. More often than not though, we won based on the fact that it was associated with us and had it been silently understood by our teachers as well as classmates, that it was our favorite toy. With the victory came the sweet opportunity to show negligence yet another day.

            Sadly... Due to the high rate at which this Flintstone Phone scenario occured during our critically developmental years, it branded us as children and has scarred a lot of us as adults (men especially) so much so that we often can't have successful relationships because of it. Like that toy, we expect our mate to be there when we return. We go on about life with the notion that they have nothing better to do with themselves or their time than to patiently await our arrival. This frame of mind usually (though rarely intentionally) breeds neglectful and inattentive habits where the relationship is concerned. We often don't realize our lack of attention or affection towards a person of interest until we are faced with the reality that it can, and almost always will, come from other sources. What worsens the situation, is the fact that our negligent actions will only make affection and attention from a third party all the sweeter for an under appreciated mate. Of course we'll fight for them (if they matter) when we're faced with with the danger of losing them. If we're lucky, we'll win. If not we hold the lion's share of blame in the wake of a crushing defeat.

             So whether you're playing Jason's, B's, or Nisha's role in your own situation. Make sure that you're not allowing a childhood complex be the determining factor in your adult emotional life.... Step it up... Because...   When it's all said and done.... The hardest shoes to fill... Are those that are currently being worn properly.

       Who's your "FLINTSTONE PHONE"???? .....Playtime's over....

            AND THAT'S JUST THE WAY I SEE IT.........